Scattered Thoughts From A Maryland Cottage

Scattered Thoughts From A Maryland Cottage
The Yin and Yang of Thankfulness
Showing posts with label strength. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strength. Show all posts

Monday, October 4, 2010

Her Journey by Jennifer

Her Journey


Her heart was torn
Her life was full
Her bags beside the bed that day

She'd told her friends
She'd cried in bed
So many roads to choose delayed.

Love perfect once
the plans they'd made
She's prayed to God, but couldn't stay
To be alive
She must survive
Strength for journeys began this day.
She let go her fear
Friends would be near
God always there
As she bravely walked away.
by Jennifer Ingram

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Sister Act - Strength in Numbers


Sisters - Friends
I had a wonderful summer. Bridal shower for my cousin, wedding this weekend in California, lots of beach time. I think I've mentioned that I see things in a different way since #1 my divorce in 1995, #2 kidney cancer last year, #3 having lost friends along the way to Cancer and other illnesses. So, I enjoy big and little things. I saw my first rainbow this summer. Yes! Believe it - my first! I also saw dolphins leaping in the ocean while I sat in my beach chair with my cousins. Cancer free - 1 year mark in June. I ate sushi more than once. Jersey pizza more than twice. No cake because I don't like cake (carrot cake is an exception - home-made only).


My friend Lisa had breast Cancer and a Mastectomy at 33 (2 little boys) and this year she wore a bikini proudly to the beach. She had fought through the surgery and the struggles of reconstructive surgery.  She has Cancer again.

So we start fighting again and this woman is a fighter. I look back to the laughs on the beach, the sand castles, the shells we collected, the jars I have them in and will not get pissed. God holds us in HIS hands. Bra, no bra, bikini or pjs!

I redid my bulletin board by my desk at school before the last day. It is so full of color that it soothes and pops at the same time! Cut out photos of roses in every hue, children, dogs, chairs, post cards of places I've traveled to, Bruce Springsteen, my kids, birdhouses, limes, lemons, sayings, students that have graduated, students babies.

how can I not feel blessed?

I get mad, impatient, pissy but there are such cool things in this world!
It just happened one day! The zest for Life! The appreciation!
Now I'm back to school. I love my job in the Health Room.
Friends peek in. Students I know by name. My good friend Karen came in yesterday. She is having a Mastectomy in 2 weeks.
It's not about bra size, she's a fighter too, gifted, loving, great support. God will help us in her care. But I'm feeling a little beaten down, well, not me - but that Life is picking on my friends. I want them well. I don't want them to have Cancer. Rose colored glasses I know. But the upbeat me is in fighting mode.

please schedule your mammogram, remind a friend or a loved one
remember self-breast exams
that you are loved, to give love, look for rainbows, fight against breast cancer
'A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves—a special kind of double.'
                                                                                                              Toni Morrison

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Story of the Battered Butterfly

And her story begins...


There is a bubble that surrounds certain people, isolates them from the rest of the world. It can begin as early as birth.  Do you realize there can be a little one somewhere being
abused and even their family members aren't aware of it? The little girl goes to school each day and no one asks the questions. Wants to know the answers. Reaches out to help. It's all so subtle yet stark.  And she smiles all the time and makes friends - is a great friend.
 Teens experience bullying or striving to stay popular.  It can be so difficult to be a child, a teen. "Are you mad at me?". Who's invited to who's house? And still the young girl keeps vigil in her abusive environment ... reaching out to make more friends, to grow up, to be
free.  Who will love her?
Boys appear on the scene. She tries so hard to please. Her friends are dear. The boys come in droves only to move on to the easier of the flocks. The girl smiles her smiles but holds back her mature inner urges. It can't be love? They won't stay. And she has the duties pulling her home. Will it ever end?
Sadly, the tearing down of her joy and bursts for Life's ebb and flow and she nears the end of high school...she flys. Where - with who...more impossible choices. Her mind thinks - "I am not worthy of more." Still she runs - to love, affection. She needs it all.
 Travel seems the answer to new worlds don't you think? Confidence can be so vital to a young girl that has been told she can be nothing - is nothing. So she continues only to be left and told she's not the one. And there she is and she rushes into more decisions she makes to please others. They must be right if others are happy! Inside... she is burdened and broken. Where is that smiling girl?
Friendships she is blessed with. The mother-love she could never seem to be perfect for disappears into her own world of sadness.  Suddenly one phone call - the blast of her life time.  She struggles on. The creativity of who she is starts to slowly pump, pump, pump. Children are God's great, Great gift to her. She can love them as she never was. Her heart fills.  A friend says "until you learn to love who you are, you won't be able to be happy with your Life ". Can this be true? Who is she?  It's frightening.
The girl, the woman begins to discover herself. She reads, she talks, she studies. There is a new "ok" in her life for the beauty within. There is new found forgiveness for the ups and downs. Forgiveness because it is vital to heal herself. Lifelong friends love her as they always have. Her children tell her of their pride for the woman she is now and for the "Mommy" that raised them. Childhood pain is a lesson to help others ease their pain and feel worthwhile. Always growing. Book pages of Life fly!  Oh, the colors.
Joy arrives. Others tell their stories. Can it be? Are there others? Struggles survived? Women who have grown?  You believe in me? I cherish you. The young woman begins to see that the past has effected her in good ways. She is a loyal friend, she loves with her whole heart, she's nuturing, she has an inner strength.
And OH LORD! When she Smiles! 

This story isn't for everyone. It's a subject that was on my mind and I wanted to write, please accept it or release it as thoughts from cobwebs that were gathering over time. Jennifer

a favorite - Psalms 46:1,2  and the Lord made me a butterfly, Jenn

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I say a little prayer - we say a lot of prayers...

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gentle spirt holding you in my heart take the time
healing thoughts thinking of you blogs of hello
peaceful images funny reminders get well wishes
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P.S. I LOVE YOU to
THE TEXAS WOMAN
OOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXOOOOOXXX
OOOOOOOXXXOOOXXXXOOOXXXXOOOXXOOXXXOOX

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you're my new breast friend too :)

Friday, July 3, 2009

June - My many blessings




BLESSINGS


  1. INNER PEACE



  2. FAMILY



  3. FRIENDS



  4. DOCTORS



  5. NURSES



  6. HEALING



  7. PROGNOSIS



  8. HEALING



  9. SENSE OF HUMOR



  10. EDUCATION