Her Journey by Jennifer

Her Journey

Her heart was torn
Her life was full
Her bags beside the bed that day

She'd told her friends
She'd cried in bed
So many roads to choose delayed.

Love perfect once
the plans they'd made
She's prayed to God, but couldn't stay

To be alive
She must survive
Strength for journeys began this day.

She let go her fear

Friends would be near

God always there

As she bravely walked away.

by Jennifer Ingram

Friday's Fingerprints...a Little Pillow Talk about Life lessons

Well friends, it's Friday and I wanted to talk about two things...you know me - gleeful and grateful.

Psalm 145:9, "The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works."

I've been thinking about restfulness. I've been stressed in the last few months while trying to pull joy and appreciation from my world and God's gifts. Have you ever questioned why when your life is filled with so many loving people,you're learning, listening, growing, feeling, breathing - there is chaos? That's been my question. 

My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. (Exodus 33:14)

I read, meditate, pray, listen, talk and yet I still feel bombarded by

my personnal struggle to make a decision in my life I have been pushing away.

 I attend a Healing Circle where we gather and rest, revive, renew, breathe.

 It's enabled me to stop the negativity of my thoughts and give the ok to just BE.
Well, I consider it, am thoughtful about it, believe it is powerful.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

                                                                                                               Psalm 19:13-14

At last nights women's gathering I listened. I heard other's stories. Sometimes it's so healthy to hear someone else speak of a pain, growth, a Life lesson, concerns.
It was for me.

I could no longer hide my fears and not live. I saw I was holding myself back.

John 10:10, "...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

I am pushing forward without regret. I remember a story about a child that was given a luscious cupcake at a party. She held it so tight and as she was offered other wonderful desserts she was so afraid to let go of her treasure she passed up many delights. When she finally decided to enjoy her treat - in the fierceness to hold on .... it was crushed and inedible. I love trying new things. Escargot, green nail polish, speaking Italian....

 



i loved cuddling with my kids

watching them play

smelled the flowers

listened

laughed

and learned

Now it's time for me to end the cycle of abuse and not be afraid.

To take a step outside the box and trust in what I know.
I know I am a survivor. I'm a loving woman. Intelligent.

thank you Miri for showing me a glimmer of light and what it can be for me, Jennifer

here's to new faces

quiet places

and sleeping in my own bed    jenn
p.s. I can be fruggle if it means independence

The Story of the Battered Butterfly

And her story begins...

There is a bubble that surrounds certain people, isolates them from the rest of the world. It can begin as early as birth.  Do you realize there can be a little one somewhere being
abused and even their family members aren't aware of it? The little girl goes to school each day and no one asks the questions. Wants to know the answers. Reaches out to help. It's all so subtle yet stark.  And she smiles all the time and makes friends - is a great friend.

 Teens experience bullying or striving to stay popular.  It can be so difficult to be a child, a teen. "Are you mad at me?". Who's invited to who's house? And still the young girl keeps vigil in her abusive environment ... reaching out to make more friends, to grow up, to be
free.  Who will love her?

Boys appear on the scene. She tries so hard to please. Her friends are dear. The boys come in droves only to move on to the easier of the flocks. The girl smiles her smiles but holds back her mature inner urges. It can't be love? They won't stay. And she has the duties pulling her home. Will it ever end?

Sadly, the tearing down of her joy and bursts for Life's ebb and flow and she nears the end of high school...she flys. Where - with who...more impossible choices. Her mind thinks - "I am not worthy of more." Still she runs - to love, affection. She needs it all.

 Travel seems the answer to new worlds don't you think? Confidence can be so vital to a young girl that has been told she can be nothing - is nothing. So she continues only to be left and told she's not the one. And there she is and she rushes into more decisions she makes to please others. They must be right if others are happy! Inside... she is burdened and broken. Where is that smiling girl?

Friendships she is blessed with. The mother-love she could never seem to be perfect for disappears into her own world of sadness.  Suddenly one phone call - the blast of her life time.  She struggles on. The creativity of who she is starts to slowly pump, pump, pump. Children are God's great, Great gift to her. She can love them as she never was. Her heart fills.  A friend says "until you learn to love who you are, you won't be able to be happy with your Life ". Can this be true? Who is she?  It's frightening.

The girl, the woman begins to discover herself. She reads, she talks, she studies. There is a new "ok" in her life for the beauty within. There is new found forgiveness for the ups and downs. Forgiveness because it is vital to heal herself. Lifelong friends love her as they always have. Her children tell her of their pride for the woman she is now and for the "Mommy" that raised them. Childhood pain is a lesson to help others ease their pain and feel worthwhile. Always growing. Book pages of Life fly!  Oh, the colors.

Joy arrives. Others tell their stories. Can it be? Are there others? Struggles survived? Women who have grown?  You believe in me? I cherish you. The young woman begins to see that the past has effected her in good ways. She is a loyal friend, she loves with her whole heart, she's nuturing, she has an inner strength.

And OH LORD! When she Smiles! 

This story isn't for everyone. It's a subject that was on my mind and I wanted to write, please accept it or release it as thoughts from cobwebs that were gathering over time. Jennifer

a favorite - Psalms 46:1,2  and the Lord made me a butterfly, Jenn