Scattered Thoughts From A Maryland Cottage

Scattered Thoughts From A Maryland Cottage
The Yin and Yang of Thankfulness

Sunday, August 14, 2011

The Path I've Traveled...

The Path I've Traveled
The path I have traveled, at times seems so long.
Sweet songs I have listened to,
play deep in my mind.
Love given, love taken,
love yearned for so long.
This father - daughter struggle,
a game played by both.
 To reach one another,
and ever become close.
I question, I struggle, I cannot say why.
Life's circle has sped by, we've continued to try.
My sons say "I love you",
friends share their joy.
We stand at distance, the love deep inside.
one step, two steps... come stand by my side.
                                                          Jennifer Ingram 
I don't know if there are other women
out there that struggle with their
relationships with their fathers. 
 I have always wanted to write something
about my relationship with my dad.
He's always been there for me. A phone call away.
We rarely talk. There is a distance between us that
others can see and feel. It's been very painful to me.
I know my dad feels deeply.
I'm a "wear my heart on my sleeve"
kind of a woman.
 If ever two people could be farther apart in personalities.
Well, that's us.
But on this last visit, as I looked at him and thought about our
years of distance and difference ....
I saw a man that has always loved me in his own way.
 Not MY way, HIS way.
My older son said "Mom, maybe Grandpop
struggles with not being able to show his feelings.
 Maybe it's very hard for him."
And I pray and again see God shaking HIS head at me,
"No Jenn, you're not perfect!"
So it HAS to be ok, because it's what it IT is and I love him with all my heart.
He's just a man but he's my dad. MY dad.
So I'm starting a new page in my story.
I'm not standing back. I'm opening my heart and arms.
I'm continuing on my path and allowing myself to finally
love my dad for who he is and letting go of past hurts, wants and wishes...
He's my Dad.
this is dedicated to my sons for all the unconditional love they give to me,
I know if you ever have daughters you will love them with hugs, kisses and strength! Momma Hey

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